Survivor Guilt
by KusajishiFukutaicho
Summary: Their agencies were all linked, one way or another. They were bound to meet again. K unit!fic. Post SR but Jack did not die. Alex went to America with Jack, eventually. Gen fic of a sort. Rewrite for 'To Take Leave'.


A/N: Yes. The title comes from the song _Survivor Guilt_ by Rise Against_. _Strangely apt for Alex, don't you think? I would recommend listening to that song while reading this:333333

And I assume that when Fox left, the new member that joined K Unit took over the codename _Fox._ I don't pretend to know about such stuff, so uhh…if I have any mistakes, please don't laugh? XD

I'm sorry if this piece seems sort of disconnected. I tried planning this time, and working scenes into something like a timeline. Apparently it didn't work. ^^;

Disclaimer: The writer does not claim to understand anything about any of the organisations mentioned in this piece of fiction. There will be mistakes, and any stance against any particular group in this fic is not representative of that of the writer, simply how it is perceived so in the _Alex Rider _series authored by Anthony Horowitz. The quote and lyrics belong to their owners respectively as stated:)

* * *

"_War does not determine who's right – only who's left."_

_Bertrand Russell_

* * *

"_Thank you so much, Mr. Lawson. Thank you for bringing him back. We…we are forever indebted to you. __**Thank you.**__"_

Finn stared at the man on the bed, brow furrowed and fists clenched as he scanned the numerous monitors and machines once more in worry. He tried his best not to look at the stump which replaced the man's right foot.

Pain lined the tanned face and Finn felt only a renewed surge of grief and guilt. Suddenly the unconscious man inhaled sharply and his face tightened as a low moan escaped his lips.

"Sean," he gingerly placed a hand on the man's shoulder and tried for his gentlest voice, "_Sean_, wake up."

The unconscious man only breathed faster as pain assaulted all his senses. Finn stood up to press the button for a nurse before he turned back to his team leader.

"Se_-Wolf!_"

The man's eyes snapped open, bright with pain. He spent several moments just focusing on breathing, before he eventually settled on a stern expression.

"Eagle," Wolf retorted wryly, "_why_ are you still here? I thought I told you that I don't want to see your ugly face again before you've showered and rested."

"Why the hell isn't anyone here yet?" Eagle turned his face away, muttering as he pressed the button a few more times.

"Oh leave it," Wolf snapped, "there are patients worse off than me. What I want to know is why you can't follow _simple_ _orders._ Eagle!"

"Leave the codenames in the field, Sean," Eagle sat down and rubbed a hand over his face wearily. "I couldn't sleep. I..I keep seeing his _face_."

"So you thought it was better to come and do the perfect imitation of a stalker?"

"I needed to check that you're alright."

"How bad off can I be? I'm in a _hospital_, for goodness sake. Go, get some sleep. You look like shit."

"I can't…I can't…I need to-"

"_Stand down, soldier!"_ Wolf barked.

"You didn't see them pulling the plug, Sean! K-Kyle looked so peaceful. And _God,_ his wife _thanked me!_" Eagle broke down in sobs, shaking, "When it's _my fault_ that he returned like this, a _fucking _vegetable! _God. __**GOD!**_"

"It's not your fault, Finn."

"Oh _really?_ _It isn't? It isn't my fault that you lost __**your foot**__ and Fox went into arrest once we touched down? And that his brain __**died**__ here and his kid doesn't have a father and his wife lost her husband? That his little boy had to watch fucking doctors switch off the life support and beg and __**beg**_Please don't kill Daddy? **How is any of this not my fault?!**"

"Kyle's dead?" Wolf looked stricken, as if the information was just seeping in.

Eagle's hands clenched as he stared at the pristine bedsheets, blinking back furious tears.

"He lost a lot of blood, and his body couldn't handle it. I-I watched his ox. stats drop, Sean. And then his heart just stopped. Everything stopped. We were already at hospital, and the whole fucking staff came rushing and tried to connect him to every machine they could, but they never got him back. And _then,_ _his little boy comes to me, clutching my sleeve and begging me not to let them __**kill Daddy**__ because Daddy __**promised**__ and Daddy said that he was going to bring Charlie out to that game and __**Daddy wouldn't lie**__,_" Eagle's voice broke and he made no attempt to wipe the tears that streamed down his cheeks, "and his mother was just crying into my chest, unwilling to look as they removed Kyle from Bypass and let him die properly."

"Finn, it…it isn't-" Wolf swallowed heavily, "it really isn't."

"You didn't see you when the doctors were going to amputate your foot, Sean. You didn't get to see your usually stoic leader break down in tears and plead for doctors to save your foot. You _didn't_ see your strong leader clutch at the stump, gritting his teeth as phantom pains from the damned missing foot assaulted him! You aren't going to be seeing any of this for the rest of your life, so don't pretend that you understand any of this!"

"You saved my life!" Wolf looked at the despairing man, eyes blazing. "If you didn't cut off the blood flow, I would be nothing more than a corpse now, six feet below!" He was breathing heavily by this point, expression harsh and unyielding.

"It is beyond arrogant to assume to be able to save everyone, Finn. You're not God. So it is also not your right to take responsibility for God's decisions. It's not only stupid, but it's wrong, do you understand?"

"Sean, I…I'm so sorry I…"

"At least I get to be honorably discharged, Finn. And if Kyle was able, I'm sure the only thing he'd wish to say is thank you. At least you allowed his family to see him one last time. That's _why_ they are so grateful. Do you understand, soldier?"

Someone knocked sharply on the door.

"Come in," Wolf shifted impatiently.

But instead of medical personnel, a fair-haired man walked in.

"Finn Lawson?" He paused at the door and glanced briefly at Wolf, though it was clear he knew who he was looking for.

Eagle stood up abruptly, eyes narrowed.

"That's me, and you are?"

"John Crawley. Mr. Lawson, I believe you have already received several phone calls from us. We would require your presence at the Royal and General Bank to discuss your account."

Wolf stiffened, his face closed and wary.

"Royal and _what_?" Eagle snorted.

"You can't ask him to go," Wolf cut in, eyes flashing, "he's off duty. He's just come back from a mission and he's supposed to be resting and recovering!"

Crawley only raised an eyebrow.

"Now, if you would, please come with me, Mr. Lawson."

"This is _ridiculous_," Wolf straightened instinctively, "he's SAS. We _don't _answer to MI6. _You_ have _no right-_"

Beads of perspiration were beginning to gather about Wolf's brow, but he refused to back down even as pain sounded in the back of his mind. His pain medication was long over-due.

"I'll go with you," Eagle said quietly, "in the meantime can you get some nurses in here? It's time for Sean's medicine."

"_Eagle-" _Wolf sputtered, but Eagle smiled, a shadow of his usual bright grin. "Rest and recuperate, mighty leader. I'll be by to see you."

"You may come in," Crawley said coolly, and a nurse immediately came in with the usual array of medicine in her cart, as if she had been waiting outside all along.

"We shall take our leave. Good day, Lieutenant."

Wolf gave a low curse.

* * *

Eagle looked around curiously as he was led to what seemed like a waiting area.

"So this is what MI6's headquarters look like?" He couldn't help asking.

"Just one of the few." Crawley handed him off to a man in a suit once they entered the doors and he muttered something to the receptionist. His current guide was none other than the receptionist, who looked like any other receptionist he might have approached for help at any other bank, down right to her bored expression and plain work clothes.

"Someone will be here to bring you to the Head shortly. If you require any refreshments, the vending machine is at the end of the walkway."

"Awww, not even a cup of water?" Eagle teased, but the lady's expression did not change.

"We do not expect our guests to have a long stay," she said primly, and proceeded to leave without another word.

Eagle was going to say another word when he bumped(quite literally) into a man returning from the washroom.

A moment's pause, as the two men regarded each other in bewilderment.

"Craig?"

"_Finn?"_

"How are you doing?" Craig, or formerly known as _Snake_ when he was in the SAS broke out first, and clapped his ex-teammate warmly on the back.

Eagle scrutinized the other man before mustering a strained smile. "Not bad."

Snake looked happy, and not at all aware of his purpose here.

"Oh come on, don't play it down so much. You and Sean were the only lucky bastards to pass Selection Test. How is it like working spec Ops and under our mighty leader?"

Eagle tried to shrug.

"You know, the usual, pranking is a must, though not being found out afterwards is a greater must. We got two other members, the new _Fox_ and _Snake_. They're not half as good as you guys, but they're de-" Eagle swallowed and to his horror, his eyes began to water, "_decent_ kids."

"Enough about me," Eagle forced a smile, "How's regular army treating you?"

"Pretty awesome," Snake grinned, "though I was so sure that I was going to pass Selection. At least it should have been Fox who passed. Didn't expect you to."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" For the first time in days, Eagle gave a real smile, if slightly tentative, still.

"You know, I thought you were going back to school. With so much pressure from your family and such. Didn't expect you to apply for regular army. Didn't your family of MDs make any sort of protest?"

"Hah, the usual. Dad's fast on his way to becoming a senior administrator of the hospital. My elder sis started her own private practice recently. My younger bro went over to the states and is now doing his residency at some hotshot hospital or something. And they're all lamenting that I'm the odd-one-out, the black sheep who didn't do medicine of any kind hahaha. Mom said that they expected me to be the unit medic, at least. I obviously didn't live up to their expectations."

"Sorry about that buddy, snatched your position," Eagle winked and Snake mock-punched him in the arm.

It was strange how Eagle felt so much lighter just talking to his ex-teammate. He sighed again, thinking of Wolf lying on the hospital bed.

"I'm getting married next month, I'll be expecting the whole unit, heh?"

Eagle was saved from giving a reply when the door to the lounge opened and Crawley returned, files in his hands and walking with large impervious strides.

"The Heads will see you now."

* * *

All in all, it had been pretty easy to gather them altogether again, like herding sheep back into the fold. The one or two lost ones worked for the same agency – the very one organizing the reunion – and a well-placed reminder of certain favours that one agency owed the other saw the Sarge ordering members of one of the best units in the field to return even if SAS did not answer to MI6.

The preparations had been easy. It was the final meeting itself that had the newly promoted head of Military Intelligence, Section Six peeling wrapper after wrapper of her soothing peppermints. For one, Alex had been early. Two, Agent Daniels was late. Mrs. Jones had no idea what was causing the holdup, but she did not fancy waiting for another hour for a wayward agent to show up and watching his former teammates bicker like a bunch of schoolchildren(given, yes, Alex was still in school.)

Or simply put, it went like this:

"Take a seat, gentlemen." The lady before the desk did not raise her head from whatever she was reading, though the man beside did acknowledge their presence with a curt nod.

"My name is Tulip Jones, and beside me is Lawrence Smith, my second. You have both served in SAS before, however briefly, so it should not come to you as a surprise that you are currently in the building that is the headquarters of Military Intelligence, Section 6."

The man beside her was more an ornament of the room than the furniture, and the two military men paid him no heed.

"I have called you here to give you a mission. The remaining two members of your team will be with us shortly," here Jones gave the two empty chairs a brief searching glance, "so in the meantime, you should read through the mission folders and familiarize yourself with what you're dealing with."

There was the shuffling of papers and awkward silence as they looked through the papers and Snake gave Eagle a brief confused look, but decided not to question, not just yet.

"I know how to walk, thank you very much." And the door was kicked open violently.

Smith frowned deeply and the men started in astonishment, but Jones' expression remained serene.

"Alex, why don't you take a seat?" She unwrapped another peppermint and regarded the furious teenager calmly.

_A teenager._

Eagle couldn't help his shock and stared. The boy looked vaguely familiar, though he couldn't place where he could have met him. The fair-haired boy did not even spare him a glance.

"I will not be _sitting_," he snapped, "because I will _not_ be staying." His accent was distinctly American, though his British roots were obvious.

Eagle watched the boy warily. _That voice…_

"What do you think this is, a game?" The boy snarled, "you _owe_ me, Jones! How _dare_ you try something like this? I have said and I will say it again, I am not doing any work for any of you ever again."

He pulled out a gun from the waistband of his jeans and pointed it at Jones' forehead.

"Put it down, _boy_." Smith barked, though there was a fine tremble in his voice. The door burst open and a rush of operatives ran in, weapons in hand and eyes flashing.

Alex turned his cold eyes on Jones' second, and Eagle could swear that the man turned white.

"You can shoot me," Jones finally sighed, "but you will not be able to leave here alive. And you will never know where the Pleasures are."

Alex's eyes flashed, angrily.

"_Where are they?"_

"In a secure location. Now will you sit down and put that away?" Jones sounded like she was speaking to a petulant child about putting his toys away.

Alex eyed his surroundings distrustfully before proceeding to plop himself down in one of the chairs in the most disrespectful way possible.

"Talk."

Jones was as unruffled as ever, though the operatives continued to stand at attention, hovering anxiously.

Alex glanced at them impatiently, before tossing the gun at a hapless man.

"_Can it._ It's not loaded, you fools."

"Go back to your desks," Jones said quietly.

Crawley gave his boss a meaningful look before he closed the door after him and all was peaceful again.

Or not.

"What are _they_ doing here?" Was the first snide remark that made itself known. "Are they _allowed_ to know of me, Jones?"

"I'm sure you know of them, Alex. This is Finn Lawson, you may know him as Eagle from K unit and Craig Andrews, Snake. Craig is no longer with the SAS, but we would require a four-men team for this mission, so I pulled him off schedule, since Wolf would be unable to participate."

Alex leaned back in his chair, unconcerned, "Yeah, I recognise them. I fail to see the _point_ of them being _here._"

At this point Eagle and Snake were throwing each other disconcerted looks, before Eagle _remembered._

"You're that kid that trained with us for ten days. You're _Cub!_" His voice was a picture of quiet amazement.

"Took you long enough, dumbass." Cub-no, _Alex_ snorted.

"Why, you-"

"This is for your protection, Alex." Jones sounded really tired. "We can't have too many people knowing of you."

"_My_ protection? Since when have you cared? Yours, more like." A piercing laugh.

"Alex-"

"What is it this time?" Alex settled back in his chair wearily. "Terrorists? End of the world? Anything that you would have resolved with _y'know,_ operatives who are actually trained for this shit?"

Jones only looked the boy in the eye.

"SCORPIA."

Eagle shifted uneasily. He had heard of this name before; there isn't anyone who had attended SAS training before who hadn't. It was part of the need-to-know list of terrorist organisations out there.

"What are they? Whack-a-mole?" Alex cursed, "Kill one board of directors and they spring right up with a new one?"

"A new board of directors has indeed been formed," Jones confirmed grimly, "and they have taken a whole wave of our operatives into their custody. They are not going to release them unless we hand over the one who took them down in the first place. They only wish to talk, and come to an agreement."

"And you send _me_? I thought you have children, Jones." Alex gave a disbelieving laugh. "Even a cold-blooded idiot like you should be able to tell that this is a trap. You want to kill me? Fine. Send a sniper or whatever it is. Not like this. You _owe_ me too fucking much to do something like this to me."

"No, Alex, listen-"

"I have a family! People who _care_ about me! People who might grieve if I turn up on their doorstep, dead! And my guardian is a barrister. My godfather is a reporter. You'd better give me something better than _listen, Alex._"

"We will have you under surveillance the whole time, Alex. We just need you to help us locate the place where the hostages are held, it's rumored to be SCORPIA's new base. We have tried to infiltrate it for a long time without success. When you have trouble, you will contact us and we will pull you out. You will not be in any danger at any point in time. I promise."

"_You promise._ Your promise is worth nothing, Jones. _Blunt fucking shot at my class to get me to take the Egypt mission! Jack was almost killed! _Your promise." He laughed, harshly. "Worth less than the dirt under my shoe."

"Lives are at stake, Alex!"

"And is my life not worth anything at all?" Alex spat. "Maybe not." He jabbed a finger in her direction. "But the world has continued turning without my part in saving it. Any part at all. So send your operatives, whatever. I've had _enough._ I want no part in any of your dirty business."

Jones leaned forward slightly, expression blank.

"SCORPIA will come after you again, Alex, with or without our interference. Your first contact with SCORPIA was made without our approval. In fact, we are perfectly within our rights to leave you alone when SCORPIA attacks you again. This time it would be nothing simple like a sniper. Anyone who lives near you, interact with you, know of you will be in danger."

Jones' eyes were like two black holes, staring directly into the churning brown depths, remorseless, unrelenting.

"Miss Starbright will most certainly die. And you will have to be looking behind your back at every turn. This is your choice, to be or not to be."

Alex kept silent.

* * *

Eagle stood up quietly, giving his ex-teammate a passing glance. Snake-Eagle still thought of him thus, it was difficult not to- did not acknowledge his presence, his eyes fixed intently on the boy who rose from his seat with a despairing air of finality. The Scott's brow was crinkled in concern, his face uncertain and pinched with equal amounts of worry and pity.

Cub is nothing if not volatile, the way he was, up and down during the confrontation. Now his posture was tense and radiated hostility.

He would be an unaccounted for presence during their mission, an unknown factor that could tip the sides either way. Eagle wished that Cub could sit out on this. _A boy doesn't deserve to be on such a mission_, his conscience remarked snidely.

Said boy was fumbling through his vibrating-_vibrating-_backpack, muttering fervently under his breath.

He finally withdrew his hand with a triumphant flourish-more to taunt the hapless operative beside them than anything else-and cursed.

"_**Nineteen missed calls?**_ _Man,_ Jack is going to kill me." He ran a hand through his hair distractedly, looking for the world like any other teenager on the street who has stayed out past curfew.

But he wasn't.

The handphone vibrated again and Cub-no, _Alex_ paled slightly.

"If you'll excuse me," he looked pointedly at the operative barring the way to the exit. "You don't want me to be violent, _trust me._"

The phone vibrated a few more times, urgently.

Though Eagle sincerely doubted that Alex was really going to be able to do any harm to the operative, the poor man-who looked green behind his ears, alright-flinched. But he didn't move from his position-not an inch.

The phone stopped vibrating and only flashed brightly, once.

Alex threw up his hands in the air.

"_Twenty missed calls! _Fine, fine. I'll call her here. Happy?"

"You're not supposed to be making any communication to the p-public," the operative sputtered nervously.

Alex promptly ignored him as he finished dialing the number.

"A-At least put it on loudspeaker…" the man trailed off nervously as Alex made an impatient noise, "o-or else I-I can scramble the signal and you won't be able to call!" The last part came out in a squeak.

Eagle did not understand what was so terrifying about the boy. He adjusted his estimations. The man must not be an operative at all. Probably a desk-job guy. Or maybe he's just one of the bank's employees in the know. Yes. That must be it.

Alex sighed in aggravation, but put the call on loudspeaker, nonetheless.

The whole room waited in baited silence as the call was being put through.

And-"You're so going to be _grounded_, Alexander John Rider! Do you have any _idea_ what you put me through with all those missed calls? _Twenty missed calls! _And none of your friends were even contactable! Liz's cell is rejecting all my calls, Edward's cell is _not registered in the network_ and don't even get me on Sabina! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Alex winced and decidedly moved the phone to a greater distance from him.

"YOU'D BETTER NOT BE IN SOME GODDAMNED BANK TALKING TO CERTAIN STRANGE PEOPLE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE!"

"Erm, Jack…Jack, listen to me-"

"You're sitting on the next plane _back _to America, do you _hear_ me, **Alexander**?"

"Jack-" Alex waved his free hand in the air helplessly and Snake chortled. Alex whirled around to deal him with a terrifying glare, but the ex-SAS man only laughed.

Wiping a hand over his face and taking in a deep breath, Alex tried again to cut into the woman's frantic rant. "Jack-_Jack? _I need you to listen to me, okay? There has been something that's come up. I need to deal with it, so I can't go back yet. But I will come back within a week, alright? The Pleasures will be returning sometime this week, I believe. Don't freak, okay? Love you."

"_Wait-what_-_ALEX_-"

Alex snapped the phone shut, cutting off the woman's desperate plea. The phone vibrated a few more times, but Alex only tossed it back into his backpack.

He turned back to the two somber military men, all traces of good humor gone.

"Are we going to start sometime?" He snapped irritably.

"Yes," a new voice joined in, and the three turned in surprise to see that the man at the door has long since slipped away, and a new(or familiar, depending on your definition) face greeted them.

"_Fox!"_ The name escaped Eagle's lips without thinking and he flushed, belatedly remembering that the man didn't end up in SAS.

Fox smirked at him.

"Hey, Eagle. I mean, Finn."

"Ben," Snake greeted, slightly confused.

"I see that the two of you old-timers are here, but Cub doesn't know my real name. _Alex,_ is it? Nice to meet you again, my name's Benjamin Daniels."

From the corner of his eyes Eagle caught Alex's strangely soft and open expression morph into one of brief surprise and confusion, before hardening to his accustomed mask.

"Of course," the boy said stiffly, "Agent Daniels, how _nice _it is to see you."

Fox grinned. "Good guess, Cub! How did you figure it out?"

"We're standing in the headquarters, _Ben. _Go figure." Alex drawled out lazily, but Eagle sensed an undercurrent of something else, something barbed and sharp.

"Alright, so…now that you are all well-acquainted with our mission details…any questions before we start?" Fox gave an easy smile, but the smile did not quite reach his eyes. In fact, Eagle thought he saw something unfathomable flash in those friendly eyes.

"Quite frankly, I do not think that Alex's presence is an asset on this mission." _Or on any mission at all,_ Eagle added silently.

"He's a child, he hasn't been trained for any of this. He's only going to be a liability," He said bluntly.

"Didn't stop Jones from placing me on this, did it?" Alex retorted bitterly.

Fox shot Alex a warning glance, and straightened, "Alex's presence is crucial on this mission. We will treat it like any other escort mission. This is a covert operation, you don't need me to say much more. You will answer to me. I have been given other instructions, as well, that which I will relay to you enroute. We will leave at 1700 hours sharp. Any other questions?"

Alex only threw Fox a brief, dirty glance, before he sauntered out of the door.

"Hey! Hey you-"

The door slammed shut.

Eagle looked to Fox, wondering why he hasn't said anything in response to the kid's blatant disrespect.

The man only sighed. "He's a kid, we have to give him some leeway. He didn't sign up for this."

"Do you really think that he should be in on this, Ben?" Snake questioned worriedly.

"Now isn't the time to question the Head's orders."

"So, how's life been since SAS training?" Fox broke into the awkward silence with a strained smile. Eagle understood the diversion for what it was, but did not call him out on it, playing along with the man's game.

"Well, it's been all fine and dandy, except a certain _someone_ had been holding out on us, eh."

"That…" Fox gave a sheepish smile, "there is OSA and all that…"

"And here I thought you were binned. I was actually sad for you kay." Snake quipped and Fox slapped him on the shoulder soundly.

"Sad for _me_? Last I recall, only one man out of the three here made it to Selection, and that isn't you, or is it?"

"Ouch," Snake grinned, and he mimed falling down after getting hit.

Eagle found it so easy to join in on the laughter.

* * *

The flight and the days that followed went without much of a hitch. Once they settled into their covers, Alex was surprisingly professional. If he wasn't a child, Eagle would have thought that he had had some serious training.

(As far as he was able to pull up the boy's file-Snake and him both-the boy hadn't. Just an ordinary boy who was too curious for his own good.)

In any case, Alex could probably find a career as an actor in the near future, he mused. As far as Eagle's concerned, he was better off removing himself from this industry as soon as possible.

This was the fourth day into the mission, and Fox was supposed to be making contact with SCORPIA and arranging a place for the 'exchange'. They were in their various identities and moved about separately. Alex was with Ben and they were supposed to be uncle and nephew, while Eagle was a businessman on holiday and Snake? Snake was a spurned man hoping to court back his girlfriend-his _wife-to-be_ would have a _field day_ with this.

Alex had remained sullen and mostly quiet through their meetings, and he didn't give much input, except that once where he vehemently objected to the meeting place being the holiday inn they were staying in that was operated by a kindly old lady and her husband.

_This is too public_, he had said, since the place also operated as a restaurant in the day, _too many people can get hurt._ Eagle suspected that Alex was more worried that the friendly Mrs. Zheng who was always fussing about Alex would get hurt.

Eagle didn't necessarily disagree, but he also trusted his leader's decision-in this case, Fox's.

"We need to at least warn her! She didn't ask for _this_," Alex sneered, "and you certainly don't think that she _deserves_ all this.

"Alex," Snake interjected hesitantly, "you're getting too emotional. How about we-"

"-_decide all of this for the stupid boy who __**shouldn't**__ be in this conversation at all? _Oh I forgot, this also _concerns my life and death!_" Alex threw Ben a flinty look before he stormed out, clearly intending on following through his own opinion.

"You will break our cover!" Fox snarled and practically leapt out of his seat as he ran after the boy.

* * *

Fox was right. Cub shouldn't have went out and broken their cover like that.

But in the end, nothing mattered. The trap was set in place all along.

The old little lady looked at her husband, half his head blown off in a moment of horrified silence, before tears rushed down her cheeks.

"I should have known," she sobbed bitterly, "I should have _known_! You are all the same!"

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Alex said, his hands held up to placate. Behind the old lady, Snake was sneaking up with a wooden tray as a makeshift weapon.

Eagle looked from the hostile situation to Fox helplessly, itching to run over and check on his teammate. The man was sprawled on his front somewhere near the entrance, an ominous pool of blood spreading out around him.

"But they promised! We would be left _alone!"_ _The_ old lady looked at the gun tossed at her feet and snatched it up in her hands just as Alex lunged towards her.

Three shots rang in clear succession. Eagle whipped around, terrified, only to see the boy's face frozen in sharp surprise. Then the moment was broken and Alex reached out, wrapping an arm around the woman's neck in a chokehold. She dropped soundlessly.

"She's not dead," Alex bit out, "but we would be if we don't leave. _Now._"

"Alex," Snake sputtered, "wait. The bullets-"The wooden tray has long since fallen to the floor, forgotten as he glanced towards the teen spy nervously.

"I wasn't the one missing his vest," the boy said sullenly, his eyes darkening in worry as he staggered towards the fallen agent.

"Check on Ben. Triage. We need to leave. Something's not ri-"

They only had a split second's warning, as Alex glanced sharply to the table just to his left, and the accelerating ticking.

His eyes widened and he dove in the opposite direction.

Eagle didn't think so far. He ducked.

It was never going to be in time.

* * *

"Finn! Finn, can you hear me?"

There was someone pressing a whole handful of splinters into his arm tightly, and _for all the things __**holy**_, it _hurt._

Eagle came to with a sharp inhale.

Snake's face hovered in and out of focus and Eagle took a couple of breaths to re-orient himself and find out why the hell does his arm feel like it's resting in a hot mess of carnivorous ants.

"I think you might have a concussion. But you should be fine. We need to find-"

Half a dozen of wood splinters was sticking out of his arm. Both arms. _No wonder._

Eagle spared a few precious (and extremely painful) moments removing them before tuning in what Snake was saying.

"Where's Ben?" He asked hoarsely. "And Alex?"

Snake made an impatient gesture with his hands.

"I don't know! When the building came down, I ducked under something a lot more sturdy than a _table_, and I couldn't stop them taking Ben away. He was conscious and struggling when they came, though."

He shrugged miserably. "There was no way for me to reach him even in time, and I saw your legs sticking out from under here. I sort of dragged you out after and you woke up. End of story."

Eagle licked his lips and slowly sat up, thinking. "So they mustn't be far. We can still catch up to them."

"I don't know, did you miss out the part where we are ridiculously outnumbered, and Alex is still _missing_? Oh wait, I didn't say that-you already _**knew**_that."

Eagle looked up to the frowning Snake. "But…but Ben has been taken. We're a team, we don't leave men behind. And wasn't Alex taken too?"

"_No. _I only saw Ben. Alex is still here somewhere." Snake gestured wildly, his eyes anxious. "We need to grab Alex, then we regroup, call in for reinforcements, go after Ben. All that."

The two hunted through the debris, looking for missing boy.

They were almost ready to give up, when Snake tripped. And Eagle's heart pounded in wild terror.

It was an arm.

And after much work, it was to a heart stopping sight.

Alex was flat on his back, motionless and the side of his head glistened wetly.

"Alex! Wake up. _Wake up."_ The blonde head lolled with Eagle's frantic shaking and on an impulse, he peeled back both eyelids gingerly.

The right pupil was blown. _Shit._

"Wake up, you bloody miserable brat!" Feeling for the world like everything around him had suddenly melted and gone to hell, Eagle rubbed his knuckles repeatedly on the unmoving chest. Alex's face was serene and his lips slightly parted, as if he had wanted to say something else before sleep had taken him by surprise.

Belatedly remembering that he was, in fact a trained medic and not a hapless chicken running around hollering about its cut head, he reached out trembling hands to check for vitals. Cool tendrils of dread sunk firm roots inside his gut as he tore apart the vest and three slugs hit the floor with a _clink_. A massive bruise sat about center mass, colouring the boy's pale flesh a drastic purple.

"Ribs are fine," Snake cut in as he probed around the bruise.

Fingers on the boy's wrist searched frantically for a pulse, but found none. Afraid of the doing the same test with the pale neck, Eagle pressed an ear to the boy's chest. After several moments of alarming silence, Eagle finally quietened his breathing enough to catch a faint _thump-thump._

"Okay, okay," he scrambled backwards hastily, hands trembling as he angled the fair head backwards, the chin jutted upwards.

No breaths ghosted bloodless lips.

He didn't spare any moment for thought and leaned in to breathe air into still lungs.

"His pulse is weakening," Snake reported just as Eagle was into the third breath cycle. "And erm, breathing's not coming back. Pain stimulli's not working. At all. What's wrong, Finn?"

_He needs a ventilator and monitoring equipment and a brain surgeon,_ Eagle didn't dare pause as he breathed for the boy. He kept his eyes fixed on the young face, hands cupped about the boy's chin and face as he breathed air into the still form.

_This has got to be enough_, he thought desperately as he caught the expansion and contraction of the chest along with his actions. _This __**has **__to be._

Because if it wasn't, nothing was going to be worth it. Not saving those goddamned operatives, not completing the mission, not stopping the stupid organisation.

Nothing would compare to his hands dripping with the blood of a child.

* * *

Alex came to with the strangest sensation. He was breathing not of his own volition, but rather because air was being pushed into his lungs forcefully. He coughed, and the strange sensation disappeared. Fingers were pressed against his neck and his wrist was picked up in the same moment.

"Pulse is…not good, but stabilising."

Then the blinding headache made itself known, and bile rose in his throat.

"Quick, turn him on his side!"

Something sharp and tangy exited his mouth even as he vomited up his lunch. _Ugh._

Hands were carefully wiping away at his mouth and tilting his head back again.

This must be the right time to open his eyes, Alex decided, but he must not have succeeded, because all he could recall were rough hands dragging him along and yelling voices.

He yielded to the blackness once more.

* * *

Once they were thrown into the cell, Eagle was torn between which teammate to run to.

"Go and check on Ben," Snake knelt beside Alex, "Alex is alright. I'll keep an eye on his vitals."

SCORPIA had bandaged their teammate at one point in time, rudimentary as it was. Both entrance and exit wounds had white swathes of bandage slapped over them. Alex was wrong. Fox had been wearing his vest, Eagle recalled. He didn't tear away the bandages to check, but he was reasonably certain that the bullet had entered the man's side.

Probably just below the vest.

Eagle was willing to thank whoever was listening that there was an exit wound, and SCORPIA had bothered to even treat their enemy.

He carefully shifted the man to lie on his back, ensured his airway was clear and elevated his legs.

_Hopefully that would hold…_who was he kidding?

The quietude drew on, a thousand pictures for the words unsaid, the things they were powerless to change.

* * *

Snake woke up to the helpless litany of _No. Please. God! Please. D-Don't. Please!_

"Eagle?" He asked quietly, but his heart was rapidly sinking.

It was nearing dusk, and the dying sunlight cast light shadows on the still face of Cu-_Alex_. In that dimness, he looked like a wax statue - something frozen in motion. He looked asleep. If not for the shallow rise and fall of his chest, Snake would thought that he was dead. His limbs were flaccid and hung loosely at his sides and his face was ashen, with sweat beading his brow.

"S-Snake, I can't do this, man." Eagle's head was bowed, his body a picture of misery as he rocked the motionless boy in his arms gently.

"Eagle..."

"Do you see him?" Eagle's voice was strangely intense. "Look at him and tell me he's not in a bad way, Snake."

Snake sighed.

"He's not going to die, Eagle. We won't let him."

"I've tried about everything I know. And he's still…still…"

Eagle wiped at his face roughly.

"I've been trying to keep him warm but he's already slipping into shock and shit, there's like arrithymia in all of this-_do you know what I'm saying?_"

"Eagle, you've got to calm down. Getting emotional is not going to help him now. You just have to-"

"What? Hold his hand as he dies? He's a kid, Snake. This whole situation is so...so f-"

"I think we've established that from the start."

"Screw your calm and levelness Snake!" Eagle's head snapped up and his face glistened.

"This is a dying kid here, Snake. And he's going to stop breathing any moment now and what are we going to do?"

"Give him first aid. Do what you have to been trained to do, Eagle!" Snake finally exploded

"First aid's not bring him back if he goes into cardiac arrest. Not here. Not in this hellhole where I don't have oxygen to hook up to him, no paddles to shock him, no nothing! He's going to go limp and everything right _here_ in my arms. I'm going to watch a kid die. He's also someone else's baby, a child that must have been cherished and loved. You ever think about that, Mr. Calm and Composed? How are you going to explain to his parents that we killed their precious son?"

"We didn't kill him," Snake's voice was strained at best and he looked at everywhere but that pathetic form that Eagle was clutching so tightly, "It's not us. It's Mrs. Jones before anyone else. SCORPIA. And he's not going to die."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. And when you're shovelling dirt over his coffin, I hope that you'll go on believing in that, Snake."

In the space between one harshly drawn breath and another, a fragile heartbeat stuttered.

The _chop-chop_ of helicopter blades split the dead air from a yawning distance and small animals scurried to safety as if foreseeing the great confrontation to take place. But for the unfortunate souls in that dank, miserable cell, all they could hear was the vague tolling of bells.

* * *

"_Carry on, don't mind me/All I gave was everything/And yet you ask me for more…"_

_Survivor Guilt, Rise Against_

* * *

A/N: Yep. That's it. _Finito._ I don't think anyone's going to ask for a continuation, right? Hmm? ^^ This was my attempt at tidying up things. I know it's probably the furthest away from what you guys had in mind when I said that I'll do rewrites, but I've tried.

So anyway. I tried to deviate from rote this time, can you tell?(; It's an open ending. Interpret it as you will. My plot bunny has gone off God knows where, so a continuation…*shrugs* This will remain a oneshot, I suppose. :3

Tell me your thoughts! Reviews are awesome. (;


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